I took a much needed mini-weekend vacation with my son this past weekend. I needed some fun in the sun, and that’s exactly what I got. I was feeling inspired, filled up, and ready to conquer the world by the end of the weekend. Fast forward to Sunday night and I’m sitting in front of my computer looking at my calendar for the week. The excited giddy feeling I had from playing in the sun was gone. I suddenly felt overwhelmed.
Fast forward to Monday and the feeling grew worse. I was now struggling with feelings of anger and resentment. I have so many things I want to do. I have so many things I need to do. I’m looking at my schedule and there’s not much room to insert anymore. The worst is that I know there are things on my calendar that aren’t going to get done because I’m going to be too tired and consider them not a real priority. Give me a month and I’ll be buried in low priority tasks, angry at all of the things I didn’t do that I wanted to, and resentful towards the people that I’ve been helping or spending time with while not getting my own things done.
As much as I love spending time with friends and family or helping other out, I occasionally have to give myself a little ass kicking and remind myself that I need to take care of myself first (or in a month down the road I’m going to be worthless to everyone). So this week, I’m practicing saying no. My to-do list won’t just include things that have to be done right now. It will also include things I want to do. I will schedule in time to write, to paint, and to clean my house (this is the one I procrastinate on the most). Only after my own needs are met, I will start adding others into my schedule.
It isn’t fair to anyone else if I can’t say no and I end up resentful and angry. It’s not anyone else’s problem that my house is a mess, I still haven’t found the time or energy to unpack from my mini-vacation, and I feel overwhelmed from the amount of things I want to accomplish. I am responsible for myself. So after a good ass-kicking, I’ve already saying no this week. My priorities are becoming clearer, I’m feeling a little lighter, and I’m starting to feel like I might just conquer the world again.