Perspective

I’ve been struggling a bit lately with perspective. It’s so easy to get down about things, and then I remember to see the other side of the coin. There has been so much change in my life in the past year it’s a bit overwhelming. So I decided to share two perspectives that have challenged me. 

Negative:

This past year a job that paid very well ended. A few months later, a relationship with someone I really adore as a person also ended. I have felt incredibly lonely at times.

My step-father was diagnosed with throat cancer. My parents moved in with me while he went through treatment. It affected every aspect of my life. My son struggled with having to give up his room, adjusting to having someone sick in the house, and sharing his mom with someone else. My son also started preschool and struggled with potty training. He hated school because of it. 

With my parents here, and helping them with doctor appointments I had to miss a lot of work. It ruined me financially. I got so far behind that I can’t catch up. I had to give up my art studio and get a “real” job in an office (something I swore I wouldn’t do again). 

Positive:

I had a really great contract job that paid well. When it ended I had enough money saved in the bank to live off of for a few months and to catch up on some past bills. I was able to buy some things I needed and some I didn’t. I had time to work in my art studio and spend a great deal of the year painting. 

Because I haven’t been in any relationship, I have grown closer to my friends. I have realized how fortunate I am to have so many amazing people in my life.

My step father was diagnosed with throat cancer. It was a scary time, but I had the means to offer help. My parents moved into my home so he could be near the hospital to receive the best treatment. My work schedule was flexible so I could be there for them. Even though he has been really sick, they believe his cancer is curable and he will be fine. It repaired a strained relationship with my parents and it made me feel good to be able to do something for someone else. 

My son started a the school I really wanted to him to get into. He has been learning so much.

 I have reached a place I need to make some changes. They are changes I didn’t want to make but I’m being pushed. Whenever I am this place, there is room for growth. I have hit a financial place where I am out of options. I put out my resume, the next day I was called for an interview, and the same day I was hired. It’s not a job I wanted, but I don’t hate it either. It is giving me some insight into the person I have become since the last time I worked in an office (7 years ago). I am also forced to close my gallery space. It’s also not something I wanted to do, but mostly out of pride. I liked having my art hanging on some walls. Then I started to look at the  numbers and I sell almost entirely on the web and very seldom out of the gallery space. It is a chunk of money that makes no sense for me to spend. It’s not something I would have been able to do without being forced just because my ego was in the way. 

I’m excited to see where this new chapter leads me. I’m also excited to be in a place for awhile where I’m not constantly stewing about where my next paycheck is coming from and having to work many jobs to make ends meet. Somehow working a regular job has given me more appreciation for my time, my son, and my home. 

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About strokeofred

I am from Kansas and I have traveled all over the world. I am an artist, and I have a business brain. I love skirts and tennis shoes. I like to get dirty and ride motorcycles. I am sensitive and I can be mean. I love nature, and believe in protecting it. I love to laugh, and feel better after a good cry. I can be stubborn and impatient. I am constantly growing. I am open and free. I look to be inspired and love to inspire. I play guitar and secretly want to play drums. I have a puppy that brings me great joy. I love hugs, cuddling, holding hands...and wrestling. I love the mountains and the beach. I have to make a pilgrimage to the ocean at least twice a year to balance myself. I believe in balance in all things. Traveling is a passion, and meeting interesting people from all over the world is the perk! I have small town values, and big city dreams. I love beer, hate wine. I believe that what you put out comes back. I believe and live by the belief of treating others like you want to be treated. I enjoy stimulating conversation, and a good sense of humor. Caffeine is my drug of choice, and coffee over chess or good conversation is my luxury. I am strong but sometimes feel small. I strive to be my authentic me.
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