I have been struggling a lot lately with how to reach a balance with motherhood, my work, my goals, my friends, and all of the other various things I have going on in my life. It often results in guilt because I’m not doing it well enough, or something always seems to be lacking.
I’ve decided that balance isn’t really the answer. The real answer is Being Present. None of us seem to have enough time to do what we want, be with who we want, or accomplish what we want. As a result, I waste a lot of energy on feeling guilty because I’m not giving enough in some area of my life.
The real answer is being present. To “be” with my son and not thinking about work. To “be” working and not thinking about the to do list I have to accomplish. To “be” with my friends and not thinking about what I have to do later that night. It’s not easy. I may not be able to spend all of the time with my son that I want, but I realize when my three year old says, “Mom, please look at me when I’m talking to you”, he has even figured out that I’m not present. The time I spend with him means nothing if I’m not “there”. Even if it’s a few hours in the evening I have with him after a long day of work, our bond is stronger than ever when I’m present. I accomplish more with my work when I’m present. I’m a better friend when my mind is present and not somewhere else. Do you ever have those moments when you realize you haven’t heard anything your friend has said because your mind has wondered off? I hope I’m not the only one!
As ideal as dedicating one third of my life to my child, one third to myself, one third to my work would be, something is always shorted. Guilt and stress are wasted energy. The pursuit of balance equals stress. Nature has a way of keeping things in balance. There’s a time for growth, a time for death, a time for burning, etc. Not everything has to be perfectly balanced all the time, there are seasons for that. It’s more fulfilling just to be Present.
“Whatever is on your plate got there because you said yes to it” – Danielle LaPorte