I realized very recently how important listening to your own intuition is. It’s something I’ve always tried to do, but sometimes mistake it for something else. A few years ago I made my first vision board. I wrote out all of the things I wanted to manifest for myself. I found myself as a single mother trying to support myself and a child. I was trying to stay true to myself, but was struggling with how to manage art, motherhood, and finances.
I envisioned myself teaching. I envisioned the space. It was actually 5 feet from my front door. I saw me running a business. One that made art accessible to others. I drew a clear picture. In the meantime my path veered off. My own artwork started selling well and I got side contract jobs to pay the bills and afford me the opportunity to balance my life’s present mission.
Recently the space next door opened up. The timing seemed right, the marketing plan seemed plausible, other people got excited when I told them about it, and I was even approached by an investor. Everything seemed to perfectly line up; except for a sudden stifled and suffocating feeling that surfaced. I couldn’t figure out why I suddenly felt so resistant towards the subject. I needed to make a jump fast. The clock was ticking, people were waiting, the space wouldn’t sit vacant for long. I wrote it off as some fear of failure and decided to barrel ahead with my plans.
In a moment of serendipity an art client offered me a plane ticket to a weekend away in order to contemplate artwork for his space. I jumped on it, all consumed and exhausted with the thought of my new business venture.
On the plane a young woman sat down beside me. I instantly identified with her positive energy. We spoke for 3 1/2 hours. She was a life coach. We talked about our dreams and visions. When I told her about the transitional place I found myself in and my uncertainty about my next leap she asked me what I was afraid of. I gave it serious thought. I wasn’t afraid of anything. I told her about the suffocation I felt when I thought of making the leap. She reminded me that maybe it was time to make a new vision board. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate what I want. I spent the rest of the weekend reading things that inspired me, walking barefoot in the sand, breathing in salty air, and letting myself relax.
I realized this is what I wanted. Flexibility, freedom, helping others, and numerous other things. Suddenly, as if a levy broke, all the pieces have started to flood in. The right people, the right resources, the call for help. I realized that my intuition was trying to tell me all along to not take the leap. To realize my new path, new dream, and new gifts. To let go of an old dream and venture into a new chapter. Now my heart flutters with excitement. I feel filled up and overflowing. The suffocation is gone.