Today I primed over a painting I have been working on for 2 years. It’s a piece I can’t ever seem to finish. I work on it, get stumped and walk away for awhile. It sits in the corner and waits patiently for me to return. I have never been able to walk away from it. I always return at some point.
This past week I came to the realization through life events that I’m not very good at walking away from anything. I don’t think it’s a bad thing most of the time. I hang on to people my entire life. I work on things until I perfect them. I have such a rough time walking away from something. I’m often shocked when someone can walk away from something important so easily.
For two days I have been thinking about the painting in the corner. I have challenged myself with this painting for two years. I have gotten so much out of it. It actually helped develop one of the techniques I use in a lot of my most recent paintings. It gave me a lot of confidence in others. I tried earlier this week to work on it, and suddenly found myself completely frustrated. I actually went backwards instead of making progress. I had to walk away again.
I have grown a love/hate relationship with this painting. And today, I decided to give it a new start. It was hard. I know there will be regrets. But maybe the painting was only here to show me some lessons. I got so much out of it, but maybe it’s not meant to be completed. Maybe it has served its purpose. Maybe I’m just philosophizing a painting too much.
The fact of the matter is, I made myself walk away from something. I went to the art store today and got primer. I painted over the painting I have worked so hard on for two years. Maybe it’s time for a fresh start. That painting isn’t gone. It actually evolved into many other paintings. It’s a baby step (feels like a huge step) but, maybe I need to become better at knowing when to hold ‘em and knowing when to fold ‘em….in life and in painting….