Art imitates life

Today I primed over a painting I have been working on for 2 years. It’s a piece I can’t ever seem to finish. I work on it, get stumped and walk away for awhile. It sits in the corner and waits patiently for me to return. I have never been able to walk away from it. I always return at some point.

This past week I came to the realization through life events that I’m not very good at walking away from anything. I don’t think it’s a bad thing most of the time. I hang on to people my entire life. I work on things until I perfect them. I have such a rough time walking away from something. I’m often shocked when someone can walk away from something important so easily.

For two days I have been thinking about the painting in the corner. I have challenged myself with this painting for two years. I have gotten so much out of it. It actually helped develop one of the techniques I use in a lot of my most recent paintings. It gave me a lot of confidence in others. I tried earlier this week to work on it, and suddenly found myself completely frustrated. I actually went backwards instead of making progress. I had to walk away again.

I have grown a love/hate relationship with this painting. And today, I decided to give it a new start. It was hard. I know there will be regrets. But maybe the painting was only here to show me some lessons. I got so much out of it, but maybe it’s not meant to be completed. Maybe it has served its purpose. Maybe I’m just philosophizing a painting too much.

The fact of the matter is, I made myself walk away from something. I went to the art store today and got primer. I painted over the painting I have worked so hard on for two years. Maybe it’s time for a fresh start. That painting isn’t gone. It actually evolved into many other paintings. It’s a baby step (feels like a huge step) but, maybe I need to become better at knowing when to hold ‘em and knowing when to fold ‘em….in life and in painting….

 

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About strokeofred

I am from Kansas and I have traveled all over the world. I am an artist, and I have a business brain. I love skirts and tennis shoes. I like to get dirty and ride motorcycles. I am sensitive and I can be mean. I love nature, and believe in protecting it. I love to laugh, and feel better after a good cry. I can be stubborn and impatient. I am constantly growing. I am open and free. I look to be inspired and love to inspire. I play guitar and secretly want to play drums. I have a puppy that brings me great joy. I love hugs, cuddling, holding hands...and wrestling. I love the mountains and the beach. I have to make a pilgrimage to the ocean at least twice a year to balance myself. I believe in balance in all things. Traveling is a passion, and meeting interesting people from all over the world is the perk! I have small town values, and big city dreams. I love beer, hate wine. I believe that what you put out comes back. I believe and live by the belief of treating others like you want to be treated. I enjoy stimulating conversation, and a good sense of humor. Caffeine is my drug of choice, and coffee over chess or good conversation is my luxury. I am strong but sometimes feel small. I strive to be my authentic me.
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