I have had this strange sort of anxiety-ridden guilt all week. It’s all completely self-imposed. I keep feeling like I’m not doing enough. I’m not spending enough time with my son. I’m not spending enough time with my art. I’m working too much. I’m not working enough. It’s gorgeous outside and I even feel guilty for not working and going outside and enjoying the amazing weather. I have been thinking alot about this today. I’m not sure where this anxious guilty feeling comes from. None of my actions seem to be spared from it.
I had to remind myself to breathe. To sit still with this feeling and let it flow through me. To stop running from it, to stop feeding it, stop listening to it, and just let it flow through me. I need to fight the urge to sit still and just be. Sometimes “sitting in it” isn’t much fun. I have no reason to feel guilt. I know it comes from a deeper place. A place of stress and anxiety. A place of feeling impatient and frustrated.