Taking things personal

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
— Anais Nin

This is something I’ve never been very good at. I end up owning other people’s problems. I end up too sensitive to others and taking things too personal. I’m finding I’m getting better this year at not taking things so personal.

The first lesson I had with this was several years ago when I worked for a non-profit. One of the members of my board was adamant about her hatred for me. I had never done anything personally to her, but she had a passionate dislike for me. In my interview she stated to the rest of the board how “ugly” she thought my hair was.

Once I was hired it became worse. It was hard for me to accept that someone could hate me for no reason. I finally came to the conclusion that her hatred had nothing to do with me. It was completely irrational. I probably looked like someone who slept with her husband. Eventually her irrational behavior became so out of control that she was asked to leave the board.

I find myself in this same place again; on a different level. For the first time I am able to identify that someone else’s issues have nothing to do with me and is a projection of something else. I refuse to own them. For the first time I can say I deserve better and I don’t deserve the misdirected hostility. I can put forth a positive energy and refuse to take any responsibility or ownership of someone else’s issues.

This seems like such a hard but liberating lesson to learn. What I’m learning the most is summed up by the Anais Nin quote. People’s worlds reflect the type of person they are. If all you put out is ugliness, hatred, cynicism, and mistrust, then that is what you get back. The world is a reflection of who you are as a person.

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About strokeofred

I am from Kansas and I have traveled all over the world. I am an artist, and I have a business brain. I love skirts and tennis shoes. I like to get dirty and ride motorcycles. I am sensitive and I can be mean. I love nature, and believe in protecting it. I love to laugh, and feel better after a good cry. I can be stubborn and impatient. I am constantly growing. I am open and free. I look to be inspired and love to inspire. I play guitar and secretly want to play drums. I have a puppy that brings me great joy. I love hugs, cuddling, holding hands...and wrestling. I love the mountains and the beach. I have to make a pilgrimage to the ocean at least twice a year to balance myself. I believe in balance in all things. Traveling is a passion, and meeting interesting people from all over the world is the perk! I have small town values, and big city dreams. I love beer, hate wine. I believe that what you put out comes back. I believe and live by the belief of treating others like you want to be treated. I enjoy stimulating conversation, and a good sense of humor. Caffeine is my drug of choice, and coffee over chess or good conversation is my luxury. I am strong but sometimes feel small. I strive to be my authentic me.
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