Checking In

I remember watching this show once about a couple. Something odd about the couple is that they both wore patches on their clothes that said PMS. When asked about it, they explained that it is something they had done since the beginning of their relationship and they believed it made their relationship better. It reminds them to ask each other about PMS. PMS being Physical, Mental, and Spiritual well being.

I was once in a relationship with someone, and early on he said, “there’s no pressure, but I need to know where you are at with this. If we don’t make sure we are both on the same page, people get hurt. I just want to prevent that”. That was a bold act for the beginning of a relationship, but it made a lot of sense. I think it’s healthy not only in a relationship, but for ourselves to “check in”.

I often get so tied up with my responsibilities and to do lists I don’t notice things are out of balance for me until I am feeling overwhelmed, uninspired, or just in a funk. I made the realization this week that I have not “checked in” on myself in a while. I am out of balance. I am putting too much energy on things that aren’t returning it. I have a lot going on in my world, and lost focus on the things that bring me a great deal of happiness. So I have to start looking at my physical, mental, and spiritual well being to figure out why I can’t seem to get out of this funk. Once I “check in” with myself, I realize a lot is actually out of balance. I am neglecting myself by putting my energy into the wrong things, putting too much energy into things that don’t matter, and not putting enough into the things that do.

Maybe I need to set a regular check in date.

I have a gallery space!

It’s official; rent is paid! I now have a gallery space. It may not be huge, but it is a step in the right direction. I am so excited to finally have a place to display my art and market myself. It’s been a goal, maybe even a dream for a long time. I think about where I started just two and a half years ago. I was panicked and frightened to find myself  jobless, not owning anything (I was getting ready to move out of the country), and bringing a child into my world. I felt alone and lost. I felt like I had little to offer a child. I didn’t want the sort of life that locked me to a cubicle doing a job I loathed in order to pay for stuff I didn’t need.

In a way I was fortunate. I applied for the dreaded jobs I didn’t want. I interviewed well. They took one look at my growing belly and offered an insincere smile and said “we’ll be in touch”. Desperate for a job, I had no choice but to beresourceful. I started advertising art lessons and showing my work wherever I could. I started teaching classes with different organizations throughout the community. Somehow, I managed to find myself exactly where I was supposed to be. I was doing something that fulfilled me and was making a living at it. It hasn’t been an easy road; things are still tight financially. The payoff though, is that I feel fulfilled. My son is happy kid with a happy mom. I get to be home with him most of the time and am able to still chase my dreams. I didn’t have to sacrifice myself in order to make it work. It worked itself out.

The gallery is just one more step in this dream. I continue to visualize my path and follow what fulfills my soul. Today I sat in the gallery space painting and couldn’t stop smiling. It just felt right. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

An Acrylic Kinda Mood

I have a love for both acrylics and oils. I find that my styles and moods generally change with each. Lately I’ve been in an acrylic kind of mood. Acrylics for me means working in bold colors, being fearless, laying the paint thick and fast. With acrylics I don’t have to spend so much time over thinking them. I just let what comes out, come out and enjoy the process along the way. It’s almost like playing to me. Here’s the fruits of my labor today….